Nonexistence

Nickole Meyer

I am an astronaut in the depths of outer space.

I search for myself in the folds of the galaxy.

I am knocked down by the hits I take from asteroids,

And I have a hard time standing back up again.

I am lonesome in the midst of millions of stars

Who I cannot call my friends.

I am lost in my thoughts of wishing I was somewhere else,

Anywhere else.

I wish to be in the presence of a beauty

That I have not yet seen.

I wish to be near someone like you.

Someone who I can see myself in,

Someone who shines brighter than the sun,

Someone who is more beautiful than the stars that surround me,

Someone who I can give a ring more beautiful than the ones on Saturn.

I imagine you and being near you,

But alas,

I am just a lonely astronaut in the depths of outer space.

My heart is a black hole that holds nothing

Except for my self-created love for you,

Who does not exist.

And I wish that I were the same.

A b o u t

Nickole Meyer is a Music Open Studies major in her final semester at Eastern Illinois University where she will graduate in May of 2022. She is from the small town of Herscher, IL, which is just outside of Kankakee, IL. Upon graduation, she will be moving to Florida to pursue a master’s degree in Music Therapy.